"Howdy, Folks! Welcome to The State Fair of Texas!" I remember hearing Big Tex say the exact same thing when I was a kid. Going to the State Fair will always be one of those little things that I enjoy. It's all so sinful....in such an innocent way. Fried Coke and Fried Mac & Cheese? How can you turn it down? It's just meant to be accompanied by an $8 beer, while sitting in a concept car...and you must be wearing a tube top and a silly furry hat you won from a carnie on the Midway. Hmmm....it doesn't sound nearly as decadent when you read it. I guess you just had to be there. Well, here are a few other things you missed out on if you didn't make it to the fair this year: Bryan Berg, The Cardstacker, recreated the Dallas skyline using playing cards. No glue, no tape, no folding....just stacking. Wow. Then he tore it all down with a leaf blower. I wish he would have worn a Godzilla costume. You can see more here: http://www.cardstacker.com/ I'm impressed by his talent. Really, really impressed. Then there was the petting zoo. I had to put my little piggies next to some authentic little piggies. There was a camel, and also a joey still hanging out in momma kangaroo's pouch. The poor girl's belly was dragging the ground. I also saw a girl try to pick a cow's nose. City kids don't really understand livestock. After several hours, 500 miles of walking, and the obligatory corny dog.... my dogs, and Connie were worn out. We saw some cool Marilyn Monroe art, learned the history of the accordian in Latin music, rode some suspiciously squeaky carnival rides, and had an encounter with the police. Oh, yeah! The excitement NEVER ends 'round my place.

Meet the sheriff. This is why I love life. You're just hanging out, when in walks an armadillo sporting six-shooters and a Stetson. Okay, he was carried, and they're not real guns (or even a real armadillo), but you get the idea. I can't stop thinking about new versions of A Prayer For Owen Meany! You just never know what's going to happen next. You brought your armadillo out? Seriously? Get outta here!!!! What's next? Stay tuned.

Connie loves going to Oklahoma. Why? Because it's OK! Well, that's what the car tags proclaim....and why would a car tag lie to a person? However, I have to give Oklahoma a better rating than OK. To my delight, I found MY FAVORITE BEER!! (er, one of my favorites...The title of all-time favorite has to go to Stella Artois) The Heavenly Tripel Karmeliet is pictured here with The Amazing Kwan, and The Shiny Purple Connie. I haven't been able to get TK at home for quite a while, but there it was, coyly peering out of the cooler in an unsuspecting beer joint. I couldn't stop smiling, or laughing. Upon finishing the first bottle, I couldn't stop acting like an ass. I was so full of bliss (i.e. booze) that I had to share my love of...well I was in love with everything at that point....but I just had to shout it from the rooftops (i.e. tabletops). Mirth was in the air and we bonded with some charming folks at the table next to us. They were even nice enough to pose with Shiny Purple Connie. At least, I think they were charming and nice....the pictures not posted tell an interesting tale of naughty bottle tricks, fun things to do with Connie, and ducks. (No ducks were harmed during the filming of this post) Kwan, Connie and I had such a good time, we laughed through the resulting hangover. My verdict: Oklahoma

is Funtasticly Beerlicious! (Maybe the tourism board should stick with OK)

Pinkie and I went bowling....with some other folks....and other shoes. Turns out that I bowled the worst, but probably had the most fun. Isn't it obvious from the ridiculous grin on my face? I am a very competitive person, but there are some things in life that I just don't attempt to conquer....such as the art of bowling. Sure...it was fun.....I got a little social interaction, my arm was sore the next day, but that's about it. Is it really worth it to give yourself a hernia when you don't make that spare? There are much more fruitful goals in life......I'm sure of it.

So, Texas is known for it's honky-tonks, right? Wrong!!!! There is a significant lack of decent places to scoot your boots in this town. (keep in mind, that I'm not privy to the country/western conspiracy, but I do check in from time to time) So, I headed on down to the waterin' hole to check out the local talent. Unfortunately, you can't see the talent in this photo........but man....I think they were way too 'snacky' to sing about the hardships in life. I doubt these boys have ever been turned away by a lovely li'l filly. Just the same, I hollered along with the classics....and took the obligatory toilet break when they broke out with......a John Cougar Mellencamp tune?????? Oh my. Maybe honky tonks really have gone for good. Yee-Haaww, y'all!

Connie went up to Oklahoma. That's what we call 'instant attitude adjustment.'

Sure, the oil refineries stink of desperation, and you can't buy Fat Tire, but look at how happy Connie is. Man, is it beautiful up there. The people are simply marvelous. Especially the blackjack dealers in the Indian casinos. Miles and miles of casinos. Ahhhhh... what a great escape from the materialistic treachery that is Dallas.